Thanksgiving Day There...Black Friday Here!

The container truck arrived with all our worldly possessions from the port of Singapore this morning at 10am sharp. I never thought I'd be happy to see dog and cat fur stuck to furniture in my life. Noreen dug out all the framed pictures that lined our stairwell platform and sideboards. As I looked through them after not seeing them for 2 months, I couldn't help thinking how grateful I am for the beautiful family I have. There were pics of the dogs as puppies, children as babies and portraits of me and Mike pre-kids as a newly married couple. We've built a wonderful life together full of memories to last anyone 3 lifetimes over.

I'm sitting on a chair in the dining room while the movers are taking their lunch break. Five of the most conscientious laborers I've met, who are polite about using the restroom, taking their shoes off, and most of all being ever so careful not to scuff a wall or floor while setting down all the furniture and boxes. Apparently, these movers are the ones who moved the Prime Minister locally so they come with high standards.

T has been mindful to stay out of their way while happily recognizing all the items from our home in Portland. Man, do we have a lot of crap. Noreen seems overwhelmed by the amount of kitchen items she is forever unpacking and putting away. While I was happy to see my Kitchen Aid mixer, I realized I couldn't use it here since the electrical outlets here are a 3 prong 220 volt anomalie. There were food items that had been packed that stayed in these boxes for over 2 months. Are they still edible? You bet, knowing some of the items are obsolete here.

I am eternally grateful for the help I have, the children and husband in my life, the exciting adventures ahead of us and most of all, for all the good fortune that has befallen on me the last 39 years of my life. Turning 40 should be a snap.

He's Off to Bangkok...without me

Yup, Mike just left for the airport. He'll be in Bangkok, Thailand for the remainder of the week. This Thursday is Thanksgiving Day in the US. And our furniture is due to arrive in a vessel from the port of Portland tomorrow. It will take a few days to clear customs before they can deliver it to our home. I'm not in despair. I'm just bummed because I was hoping to meet him in Thailand this weekend, but instead, I will be home to receive our household move and unpack as much as we can with the gracious help of Noreen our live in help from the Phillippines.

Noreen is a widow at 28 and has a 7 year old son, farmer parents and 8 siblings to help out financially back home. She is a shorter than normal girl with a great disposition and work ethic. She is on her feet from 7am to 9pm. Tonight, she cooked a fabulous meal for dinner, bathed the kids, and washed all the bed linens and laundry. I am constantly amazed at her movement around the house, cleaning, sweeping, dishwashing, etc. We are sending her home for the holidays for one month. She deserves to go home and see her family after being here for 2 years with her previous employer who apparently treated her like a slave. With her immediate transfer into our family, she missed out on an opportunity to go home for a few weeks. I purchased her plane ticket a few days ago and paid my levy to the agency today. God bless you, Noreen.

So here I am, lamenting about Mike's absence and utter preoccupation with work and business. I hope he remembers to take his vitamins, drink clean water, and eat a sensible meal. He's working so hard. I've never seen him so busy and pressed for time like this. The only thing I can do is stand by and try to help him as much as I can. He just text me that he couldn't use the ATM's at the airport to get his cash. Poor baby. I should have given him a few hundred from my wallet. I'm also finding myself playing the doting wife a lot more here than I ever was back in the U.S. I think because Noreen takes care of the kids, and they genuinely like her, my hands are more free to take care of Mike. I hope he knows how much I love him. He is a gem of a man and a wonderful husband. I don't think there is another man like him on this earth.

Made a New Friend Today

While I was in Seoul for 3.5 weeks, I was able to hook up with an old classmate from my days as a student at Yonsei's Korean Language Institute. He is originally from L.A., and was there for the same reasons as me...to learn Korean. Well it turns out that after his stint in Korea for a number of years, he finally went back to UCLA to finish up his degree only to return to Seoul with a job. He is now working and living in Seoul as a single high rolling expat with his own bachelor pad and a car to boot. Apparently, he is just so the swinging bachelor that he has a list of girls for late night bootie calls lined up. I was extremely bothered by this transformation because when I knew him 15 years ago, he was essentially a short, ugly, fast talking geek boy. And now he acts like he is what Koreans would call a "king car."

His sister happens to live in Singapore so I called her earlier this week and she invited me over for coffee. She lives in a beautiful house with a nice size pool in the backyard. Her interior decor looks like something out of a high living magazine where all the wall hangings and furniture looks collected from years of living in exotic Asia. She struck me as somewhat overbearing as she proceeded to dictate how I should treat my live in maid. Her husband rakes in the big bucks as a hedge fund manager/owner of his own firm in Suntec City. She has 2 children just like me but they are 13 and 12 year olds attending the prestigious highly coveted American School on the other side of the island.

Now, while she struck me as the typical loud mouthed materialistic LA girl, I couldn't help be put off by her overbearing demeanor and presumptuous nature. She was focused mostly on her social life, consisting of country clubs, night life and parties in her home. She seems to have a good network of Korean American friends in the area but never once offered to introduce me any of them. All she proffered was if there was anything I ever needed don't hesitate to call her. And then I was offered a ride if I waited for her to get ready or her maid can call me a cab.

I wound up near the shopping district and called Mike out for lunch instead. He seemed rushed as he ate, kept looking at his blackberry, and announced that he needed to hustle. Some relaxing lunch! And on Monday, he is off to Bankok for the week!! And it's Thanksgiving Day on Thursday. Boo hoo. Wish I was going with him.

Transportation Costs Conundrum

I'm averaging about SGD$45 a day on taxi fares. At this rate (multiply $45 x 30 = $1350) you'd think getting a car would be more economical, right? WRONG!!! Purchasing a used 4 door sedan Japanese model like a Toyota Corolla here is SGD$60,000 which is not quite triple but more than double what it's worth in the US. They give out 10 year loans where the depreciating value of the car is not only lost in nebula but you have to cap the cost of the value when you are ready to get rid of it. So basically, you can either pay a down payment at the beginning of your loan, or at the end. I never heard of such crockery!!!

According to Singaporeans, the government has a tight reign on the number of cars they allow on the roads. Meaning, registration for a car is a lottery each month, depending on the number of applications and the number of cars that were taken off the road. How do they know if it's been taken off the road? If the registration expires, it's not renewable. You must get rid of your car or buy annother COE for approximately $45,000. Oh, and the registration is called COE which stands for a Certificate of Entitlement which the natives here call Certificate of Extortion. What to do?

I'm not complaining about having to take cabs, but there are times when I am not done shopping yet but need to unload the half dozen bags already in my hand. Not to mention the kids. Oi!!!! They fight over the window seats in the cab all the time. If I had a car, they would be strapped in their carseats on each side of the window. Seriously, so far, I don't know what the hype about this place is. It has some serious issues that need to be dealt with. I don't know how long I will be able to last at this rate.

Missing Mike

I took the kids to Sentosa Island today. We are planning to stay one night here. H is sleeping on the bed and T is watching some dumb cartoon that has children speaking with the Singlish accent the locals use here. He is hungry, I am bored, and H is still sleeping soundly grinding her teeth. We spent the afternoon at the hotel pool. No sun, just clouds and some intermittent drops of rain. Mike has been away for 4 days in Australia. He is due to return tomorrow night.
I am finding myself unable to focus on anything but him. I miss him soooooo much it hurts. I took for granted the last 5 years he was home with us, working and helping me raise the kids. He changed as many diapers, washed as many bottles, fixed as many chocolate milks as me. He made sure the kids' needs were met when I was still brushing my teeth upstairs or taking a shower. He also ate many meals with us. And yet, I never took the time to appreciate it at any time during the course of those 5 years. Many thought I was very lucky to have such a wonderful situation. I didn't even give it a second of thought.

In fact, I even looked forward to his departure on his many business trips since it gave me a sense of relief and distance from him. There were times when he was more irritable, more stressed and less pleasant to be around and the opportunity to have some distance was always a welcome. But I always knew he traveled around in the same country, whether it was California, NY, Maryland, Arizona, etc. But now, he needs a passport whenever he heads to the airport.

As regional manager of Southeast Asia, he is responsible for Thailand, Hong Kong, Vietnam, Malaysia and Australia. His post here has been keeping him so busy he barely has time to eat or sleep. And to top it off, here we are, the 3 of us, needing him more than ever. The children ask of his whereabouts constantly. It is making me crazy! And when we do see him, I am finding myself shooing them away so I can have some time with him alone. Have I become the green-eyed monster????

It is like dating all over again. I just don't know when we can have time together and when we do, we can't be alone because two very small individuals constantly cut in on our time. I hope this gets better. I know I need to find my own community of support and camaraderie. I'm hoping that once the maid comes, we can begin to get busy making this mausoleum our home. Once the house feels like home, maybe we can feel more settled and secure emotionally. I also need to get the kids enrolled in a school. I have so much crap to get done it's not even funny. I need to stop wasting time ruminating about things that can't be changed. Keep moving forward...

Singapore...Day Twelve

Well, we've been living out of this cavernous empty house for 10 days now. The biggest adjustment was not having any of our comforts from home here with us. No car to take us grocery shopping, exploring or escaping from the sheer boredom of being penned up in this ginormous house. No one can sneeze, cough or fart without waking up the rest of the sleeping members. Mike and I can't have a conversation on our phones without having to tell the kids to be quiet. And of course, they tend to get even noisier when we're on the phone.

We're still living out of our suitcases. The kids are bored but seem to preoccupy themselves with movies, some toys and each other. I don't know how I could do this if they didn't have each other. Thank God for T! Speaking of T, he requested another visit with his foster mother so we met her at a nearby park when we were still in Seoul and they had a blast! This time, he ran to her and fell into her arms as soon as he saw her. It was an amazing sight to behold. I was weeping with happiness inside. Pictures from the park to come when I get a chance to download them onto my laptop.

The dynamics of our marriage is slowly shifting as well. I don't know whether it's because this is Asia and is still a male-oriented society but he is in his element here. All the office girls seem to cater to his needs immediately and graciously. He loves to impress them with his spitfire machismo and they seem to eat it right up. I'm sure there's a lot of harmless flirtation going on as well. It's too hard not to succumb to it.

I've been online registering with the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) as they call it here, passed an online orientation course for foreign domestic worker employment. No, I'm not looking for a job as a maid. I'm trying to hire one for us. At first, I was taken aback by the biodata and photos, the video interviews, the agencies, the fees, the logistics and thought, "Man, this is as inhuman and degrading as it can get." But after spending a week trying to fend for myself and the kids, try lugging grocery bags to the taxi line with 2 whiny toddlers behind you getting into trouble, I gave in to wanting help. I need someone to be able to stay home with the kids while I shop, run errands, and get some shit done.

Mike's leaving for Sydney tomorrow for 4 days. I am alone again with the kids. God help me.