A Brooding Mom with a Brood of Two

I am a stay at home with 2 toddlers who are 15 months apart in age. While blogging is very new to me, I found that this could be a healthy and productive way (I get to practice my storytelling skills) to get things off my chest without seeking a willing yet time-constrained pair of ears from my friends.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Scolding another person's child

My niece came over to play last night. She is a few months younger than H but they would be in the same class if they were to enroll in school together. She is a tad smaller in size than H yet her personality and stubbornness matches that of a 50 year old woman going through menopause. One inexcusable behavior she exercises is grabbing a toy, marker, paper, what have you, from other children. These past few weeks, H & T have been the target of her snatchings. They are not used to the unsolicited aggressive behavior. H has cried many tears over a snatched Play Doh cutter, glitter pen, toy dogs, etc. The one good thing is that when her mother, my SIL, is around, she gets reprimanded and scolded for such acts. She has been quick to condemn, judge and punish so that I would not have to intervene.

Last night, however, I picked her up from grandma's house and brought her over after the 2 girls had finished their baths. So no mom, my SIL. Mike was home as well. He witnessed her snatchings and instrusive mean-spirited behaviors with much disdain but refrained from saying anything to her. When she asked him to put in the Cinderella DVD, he agreed hoping she would sit quietly and watch the movie. She proceeded to move around the room touching everything H had her hands on. She even went as far as stepping on the ukelele which was lying around on the floor. That made Mike tell her to go home. She burst into tears at which point I whisked her up and tried to packed her in the car. Even in her crying stupor, she asked to be put down so she can climb in on her own and buckle her seat belts without assistance.

My SIL called me last night to profess the hurt she felt that her daughter was scolded by Mike. I told her it was inexcusable but this is the way Mike parents children, especially our own. That he didn't do anything out of the ordinary. He would have told H or T to go upstairs instead of home. He has no tolerance for rude behavior especially one that seems so purposeful and premeditated. I think my niece has had too many people scolding her this trip. I have withheld my own tendency to scold, chastise, etc. because I felt she needed more reasonable boundaries through non-judgmental words. She usually doesn't listen to that either but I have faith that one day, something would click. Mike doesn't operate that way. One, two three strikes with zero tolerance makes it difficult to live up to for 3 and 4 year olds. But this is my household right now and daddy has to have his rules too. I had little to say in terms of comforting my SIL's anguish.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Never thought I'd be walking the path of...

a mom who has to take her child to the doctor or emergency room so often. T has had 3 self sustained injuries requiring medical attention the last few months. The first was his flip fall off the dining room bench thus hitting the back of his head against the corner which required stitches. I made Mike take him. It was a Sunday. He screamed his head off the whole time he was there. He would not let anyone touch him after it was all over.

The second time, he bounced off the trampoline and hit his face against the hardwood. He had a floorburn on his nose for a week. The doctor said he would live.

Yesterday, after his bath, in his haste to run down the stairs first, to beat his sister, the dogs rushed by him as well and made him fall the rest of the way down onto the marble floor of our foyer. I didn't see what happened, but I imagine this is what happened which caused the dent in his shin bone. The X-ray showed a dime size dent in his tibia. Good Lord!

Aside from chaining him to me 24/7, what is a mother of a rambunctious almost 3 year old boy to do??? He is SOOO active. He cannot sit still or walk calmly. He has to run, ram, trip, rumble through the house like a mac truck. It has been quiet this past 2 days since he has not been able to bear weight on his right leg or walk. He crawls everywhere instead, using his upper arm muscles to pull himself across the floor. And the clincher is he still climbs up the stairs only to come down on his belly head first. Crikes!!!

I think this is just the beginning of raising an active, athletic boy. God help me!

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