Interesting Gathering

Last night I had a play/dinner date with a divorced mom who has a son from Korea. She went through one of the most messiest divorces, one that required a restraining order, only talking through lawyers, the constant custody bickerings, etc. We had a pleasant time at a McDonald's where our children played, ate and played while we, the 2 moms sat and conversed. At one point after all the catching up was done, she broke down and said, "I just can't do this anymore..." I felt so awful for her. Her ex-husband is getting remarried and has started calling her office just to harrass her. She couldn't get any information about anything that pertains to their son's development and well-being. And her son just a few days ago, physically attacked her.

According to her, he came at her with fists pounding and then wrapped his hands around her throat. It was inappropriate behavior for a 5 year old. I couldn't believe my ears. I got a good sense of what her days may be like and I don't know how to help her. Maybe I need to reach out to her more often. I've just emailed her to wish her a Happy Mother's Day and basically asked her permission to speak with her son about the incident one day. Anyway, there is a part two to this entry.

My adoptee friend, the one I wrote about previously who was in a violent marriage....has finally filed for divorce. It happened the night he tried to attack her, she called the police and he spent the next 8 nights in the county jail. While he was jailed, she filed a restraining order, the divorce papers and asked for full custody. It has been a whirlwind of activity but her mind was in constant turmoil and panic. She hasn't been getting any sleep, her in-laws have been harrassing her with phone calls and camping out on her front yard, etc.

I invited my adoptee friend to join us after dinner at my home. It was a very interesting gathering indeed. 3 families all touched by adoption from Korea. They exchanged stories and a lot of info pertaining to their experiences with the divorces. A few glasses of wine helped take much of the edge off for all parties involved. My tots were ready for bed while the women were talking up a storm. I tried to quell them as best I could.

I think this may be the beginning of a brand new friendship. I hope they stay in touch and meet for a meal and let their kids play together. They certainly need the support from one another.