In the beginning...

Interestingly enough, reading blogs of perfect strangers who confess to blogging as a way to release, purge, vent their inner most thoughts has inspired me to start one. I never thought I'd ever have a journal/diary that allowed public viewing on the internet. The only other diary I've ever had was one given as a gift on my twelfth birthday...a Hello Kitty one with a flimsy enough lock that my pesky younger brother was able to pick with a bobby pin. He had a giant grin on his face one afternoon as I walked into the house from school. I then knew he had read my entries about the boys I liked with whom I would like to share mouth to mouth kisses with. He read about the group movie date last Saturday where Albert's heart was crushed when I chose to sit next to Billy. All the juvenile drama of a sixth grader on the cusp of discovering boys and sexual attraction was juicy reading material for a twit in the fourth grade who had no clue about any of it.

And here I am taking the risk of pouring my heart out to what seems like a multi-dimensional audience rather than the 2 dimensional word processor with a save function. We shall see...dare I trust myself to put my deepest thoughts to print? Dare I let myself air the family dirty laundry in cyberspace? I've tried message boards, where instant gratification seems always a plenty, but that didn't really do it for me either. There was SO much more going on in my head than I disclosed to the very supportive readers of my postings. They were only getting a fraction of the incidents or conflicts....there's always a history, plus my own judgments and character developments through those judgments, etc. A wealth of info that I couldn't, wouldn't share with the maniacal BB readers (only to spare my seemingly neurotic thoughts so that I wouldn't sound crazy) which left me never fulfilled or with questions answered...just "supported" with cyberhugs.

We shall see...