It's Been a Year

Well, I've kept this blog for about a year now. Amazingly enough, what started out to be an exciting, unchartered expedition into spilling your guts on the internet, I've slowly found a way to unconsciously censor what I wish to or don't wish to write about. I believe the sparseness in the entries explain that.

Anyhoo, looking back this past one year, it has been a whirlwind of activities and appointments all jotted on my iCal. T and H's schedule is just as hectic as mine and Mike's. I've cut down a lot on our traveling in 2007, mostly because airfare is expensive and we had enough to do here in Portland. We've made some new friends who live just down the hill from us. They have 2 boys around the ages of H & T, both boys. T really likes the dad. He calls him "appah" the Korean word for daddy. They have a blast together. I can leave T with them and he will have tons of fun.

We are leaving for Singapore this August. We will live there for a few years. I am overwhelmed and scared with our having to sell the house, pack up our enormous pile of stuff which has basically been "our lives" for the last 5 years. I don't know where to begin and what to take or not to. I am like a deer in headlights when it comes to planning a move. Maybe we can have them pack for us.

We also have a look/see trip to Singapore to do. We want to stop by Korea for a few days to visit with relatives but don't know whether we can do it. Too much on my mind right now. Dont' know where to begin....

Interesting Gathering

Last night I had a play/dinner date with a divorced mom who has a son from Korea. She went through one of the most messiest divorces, one that required a restraining order, only talking through lawyers, the constant custody bickerings, etc. We had a pleasant time at a McDonald's where our children played, ate and played while we, the 2 moms sat and conversed. At one point after all the catching up was done, she broke down and said, "I just can't do this anymore..." I felt so awful for her. Her ex-husband is getting remarried and has started calling her office just to harrass her. She couldn't get any information about anything that pertains to their son's development and well-being. And her son just a few days ago, physically attacked her.

According to her, he came at her with fists pounding and then wrapped his hands around her throat. It was inappropriate behavior for a 5 year old. I couldn't believe my ears. I got a good sense of what her days may be like and I don't know how to help her. Maybe I need to reach out to her more often. I've just emailed her to wish her a Happy Mother's Day and basically asked her permission to speak with her son about the incident one day. Anyway, there is a part two to this entry.

My adoptee friend, the one I wrote about previously who was in a violent marriage....has finally filed for divorce. It happened the night he tried to attack her, she called the police and he spent the next 8 nights in the county jail. While he was jailed, she filed a restraining order, the divorce papers and asked for full custody. It has been a whirlwind of activity but her mind was in constant turmoil and panic. She hasn't been getting any sleep, her in-laws have been harrassing her with phone calls and camping out on her front yard, etc.

I invited my adoptee friend to join us after dinner at my home. It was a very interesting gathering indeed. 3 families all touched by adoption from Korea. They exchanged stories and a lot of info pertaining to their experiences with the divorces. A few glasses of wine helped take much of the edge off for all parties involved. My tots were ready for bed while the women were talking up a storm. I tried to quell them as best I could.

I think this may be the beginning of a brand new friendship. I hope they stay in touch and meet for a meal and let their kids play together. They certainly need the support from one another.